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The 2010 Winter Olympics kicked off Friday night in Canada with what I thought was the worst opening ceremony I’ve ever seen. There were a number of routines involving “first nations,” the Canadian term for indigenous peoples. In the US we generally call them Native Americans, or sometimes Indians. There was lots of traditional native dancing–too much, in fact. And there was a long poem spoken by someone who was apparently found on YouTube by the director of the ceremony. The same director was apparently out one night and saw people drinking beer and tap dancing, and immediately decided that had to be in the program. Bad idea.

When it came to lighting the torch, there was this big production that was supposed to include four poles resembling ice rising out of the floor to surround a big bowl resembling ice. The four–yes, four–final torch-bearers were each to light one of the four poles. After an awkward wait, three poles rose from the floor, and were lit while the fourth torch-bearer held her flame high.

Then it turned out that this was not the actual torch that must, by Olympic regulations, be visible while teh Olympics are in session. This flame was indoors, and below the roof line, and could not be seen all the time. Wayne Gretzky, one of the final four, was taken by truck (does this sound as ridiculous as it looked?) to somewhere outside the stadium to light what seems to be the actual flame, which the people who paid large sums for the opening ceremony unfortunately missed.

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